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surprise, surprise! it's 4:30 in the morning and i'm still awake. i'm becoming good at this, and i don't think i like it. today was ho-hum. i felt like i physically could not get out of bed because of the exhaustion, but managed to call matthew at 1:30. i thought he was sleeping while we were on the phone, so i just hung up. he called back a few hours later and was being overly nice for some reason, and said that he was picking me up to go hike papago mountain. he came, we went, it was nice. we came home and watched LA ink for a while and then he left. my wonderful father picked up some subway for me, seeing as i've had this awful craving for it ever since i started PMSing, like, last month, so that was a good thing. i ate, then helped grams with packing up her room and came out of it $40 richer. called matthew, told him we were going to get coffee, went and picked him up, had a really boring conversation at the coffee plantation because he was tired, went to the park by his house (the one that he overdosed at), swang and talked about when we were little, and then dropped him off. BUT, what is not ho-hum, is the fact that i think i like a boy that is not matt. this is both good and bad. it is good because it heightens the possibility of me getting some TLC sometime in the next million years, and it is bad because i always feel guilty for liking anyone but matt. it's too early to tell, but i think something is happenin' here. his name is ryan and he's 23. he's funny and he laughs at everything i say, which is nice, because anything that boosts my ego is nice. as far as looks go, he's alright. he has matt's and ryan gosling's face, and then ryan gosling's hair. really, just google ryan gosling, and you have this guy. i don't know, though. i'm skeptical, but i really like talking to him. look at this amazing picture of matthew from hiking earlier: 
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